You are so enough. Just you. As you are. This is the message I am passionate about helping students hear and embrace.
Subtle Messages
When I look back over experiences we’ve had as a foster family and interactions with student clients, I confess I just feel sad at how many kids carry such a heavy load each day because of the you’re not enough messages that surround them. Some of those messages are subtle and take the form of not having the right stuff, the right friends, the right grades, athletic ability, family, etc.
Direct Messages
Other messages are much more direct and take the form of bullying and the purposeful tearing down of another individual. In the extreme, the results can be outrageously tragic with students taking their own lives because of the overwhelming message of being so far from enough. According to The Jason Foundation, each day there is an average of over 5,400 suicide attempts by students who are in 7th – 12th grade. This should not be!
Hope – Filled Messages
Students from stable backgrounds, and students from hard places need to hear the message every day that they are enough, just as they are. No one has been left out when it comes to being amazing at something . . . of being special and unique . . . of having immense value. Students need to be set free to feel great about who they are. Then, and only then, will they be free and confident to grow more fully into the person they were designed to be.
This is really why I chose to go into the field of coaching. The underlying premise that a coach has with each and every client is you are enough, complete, and whole. You have what it takes to move toward maximum personal and professional potential. It’s a powerful and life-changing message to be able to share with a struggling student. Often times the message feels foreign at first, but beautiful and so empowering when students really embrace the truth of it.
Life Giving Messages
I am in the final stages of paperwork (mailing to the IRS tomorrow!) for a non-profit to offer support for kids aging out of foster care, as well as those coming from similarly hard places. One of the things we want to do is offer coaching for at-risk students and young adults, foster kids, and orphans. The tools they will learn and the message of you are enough is of critical value for them.
Maybe more so than any other demographic, students who have been in the system are keenly aware of what has been broken and lost. Restoring a sense of value and helping students have the opportunity to look forward with excitement and hope rather than back at darkness and pain is something coaches can offer.
If you are looking for a way to make a difference in the lives of students, or need some new tools to increase impact, please consider the field of coaching. There are so many who need what you have to offer!
Thanks for checking out my blog! I am an ICF certified Academic Life Coach and train youth advocates in the Academic Life Coaching 1.0 coach training program. I’m also an adoptive mom, youth advocate and a licensed therapeutic foster parent. For more information about this program for the student in your life or on how to train as a coach, please contact me here.
This is a great post. As a father to two young children (boy of 7, girl of 6), I have always been mindful to always support them and remind them that they are doing great. This has to be balanced of course, with striving to be better, to reach higher in order to improve but also being content that they are fine where they are.
Thanks, Alan! I absolutely agree. We want to balance messages for our kids that build self-esteem, but also communicate that challenging ourselves is a good thing.
Good for you for helping kids aging out of foster care. These kids have a hard enough time without being dumped out on the street (in a manner of speaking) without having the tools they need to succeed. May you be wildly successful in your endeavor!
Thanks, Jackie. . .that is my prayer. For wild success on behalf of kids. I KNOW there is more for them than what many are experiencing!
Sounds like a wonderful ministry. I pray you are able to reach as many youth as possible.
Thank you, Robin. I appreciate it!
Great post on how powerful words are at a very tender age. I only speak blessings over my son and build him up all the time.
Words are powerful. So glad your son is experiencing words that build him up!
This is a great article. Shared on LinkedIn too. A message everyone needs to hear. What an amazing thing you are doing with foster children. Best of luck to you.
Thanks for sharing Christy, and for the encouraging words. 🙂
What a great message you’re giving to these kids who have already experienced a lot of changes they are trying to cope with. Teens are very influenced by the media and their peers that if only they had this or that, or looked like this or that, they’d be happy. I think how you coach them with hope and a sense of belonging is such a beautiful thing, Brenda!
Thank you, Meghan. Teens are influenced easily and can feel pulled in so many directions. I like how you put it. . .coaching with hope and a sense of belonging. Something I hope to offer to many students!
Excellent and glad to have someone looking out for the kids. It starts with us, the parents, it truly does… but great to have other mentors who have our kids in their best interest.
Agreed, the role of a parent is #1 in the lives of students. As a parent, I love it when others who genuinely care invest in my kids lives. This is especially beneficial when they work with me, as the parent to make sure my two are thriving. As a coach, that is what I try to offer families of students I work with as well. 🙂
If I had not gotten encouragement & praise along the way I would not have gone on to college or believed I could succeed. You are doing a beautiful thing and I wish you tons of success for your mission & for those you reach out to.
Thank you Roselyn! I love your story and where you are today. A true testimony of what can be. I hope to help many along that same path!
What a great message that we all need to hear everyday! Thank you for doing this for at-risk kids. You have a big heart.
Thanks for the kind words, Carol.